Waiting and worrying

Recently, my life has consisted of a lot of waiting. I have waited for the doctor`s appointment, then the counseling appointment and now I am waiting for another week or so to ask Dr. Stork to sign my sperm bank documents.

My plan is to wait two weeks after my counseling appointment and then to contact Dr. Stork. I hope she has received the report from the counselor by then. When I send her my sperm bank information, I hope she won`t sign it unless she is willing to work with me. It would be pretty crummy of her if she signed the documents, had me send my sperm to her office only to tell me later: "Sorry, but I cannot work with you (because of what you told the counselor)." Of course she would not say that last half sentence, but we all know this would be the reason or at least one of the reasons why.

The longer I wait, the more nervous and worried I get. I keep on going back to the moment when I told the counselor that I do not have relatives in the states, her worried face, taking a lot of notes, and then telling me that she wants to point out that it is not her decision but that she will only forward a report to the doctor. Not a good scenario....

I really want to know if Dr. Stork is still willing to work with me, otherwise I will try to go to the other doctor with whom I still have an appointment set up for May. But I do not know how to ask about it. Do I bring it up when I send her my paperwork? Or do I just send her the paperwork hoping that she will look into my file before signing it? Ugh!

In addition, I am still struggling to lose weight and it just does not come off as fast as I would like. (Yes, I know, it never does!) For the first 25-30 pounds I lost 3 pounds per week. Sometimes even more. But then, just around the time, Dr. Stork told me to lose 50 pounds, I hit one plateau after another. For the past weeks, I have only lost a pound per week. This week 2 pounds but only because I worked out like crazy and reduced the points that WW allows me to eat even more. The other day, I found an old weightloss diary from summer 2009. I already weigh 14 pounds less than I weighed back then. So, I should be happy, right? But I am still worried. If I don`t manage to lose enough weight, will this be another reason for Dr. Stork not to work with me?


Well, I think the best thing is to make a plan what to say and what to ask when I call Dr. Stork next week. If I have it all written down, maybe I can push the worries away and move on to other things.