Being treated like a criminal

A few weeks ago, I read an article about a nurse who was asked to help care for a man, who had committed several horrible crimes and killed multiple people. She could have declined the job, but she accepted it. The article was about how she dealt with the situation - on the one hand feeling committed to her job and trying to be professional. On the other hand feeling disgusted by his crimes (and maybe even hating him for what he did). In the article she described what her daily work routine looked like. She felt obliged to give this man what was absolutely necessary but made a point of not giving him the tiniest bit more than that. Her little form of protest was not to call him "honey" or "sweety" when she interacted with him.

This past week, I had my second IUI. Since my first IUI, I felt quite frustrated with Dr. Stork and my nurse. They always do their job, but never anything beyond the bare minimum. When I paid for a test or an ultrasound, I would get the test or the ultrasound. But nothing beyond that. For example, I asked the nurse about the results of a test and she gave me the numbers, but nothing else. When I asked her what these numbers really meant for me and my further treatment or what she thought I should do next, she told me that it was up to me. Everything was always just up to me. It was so frustrating.
I cannot make these decisions, since I do not have a medical degree. All I know about the subject is from the books I read and some strangers on the internet who answer questions in an online forum. I go to the doctor to get advice but all they do is force me to take more and more tests without explanation.

When I got my second IUI, I was almost out of the door already when I remembered to ask about my progesterone and if I should continue taking progesterone. The nurse had already disappeared so the receptionist called her back and she told me that I should in fact continue taking progesterone. What bothered me so much is that she would not have told me if I had not asked about it. So, now I am wondering what else she is not telling me just because I do not know that I have to ask about it. 

Yesterday, I finally realized that my nurse could be the nurse from that article. She is doing her job and giving me the minimum treatment or information necessary, but nothing beyond that. I have a feeling that she is not agreeing with my choice to become a single mother and that this might be the reason why she is not giving me any advice. She is doing her job, but she is highly indifferent towards me becoming pregnant which is pretty much my life at the moment.

I think I have to let this nurse and doctor go.

This is not easy for me, since she came recommended from other SMCs and I trusted their judgment. But by now, one of the SMCs who had recommended her to me has moved on to a different doctor, too. I am disappointed and quite hurt. I am just trying to have a baby, I am not a criminal who killed other people.

On Monday, Dr. Stork is supposed to call me back and we will see how that will turn out... I already made a new appointment with a different doctor, but that doctor cannot see me until the end of October and is probably going to have me redo all the tests. So, more costs for me even though I did nothing wrong. Life is so unfair right now.