One day at a time...

Wow, it is like I blinked and all of a sudden, it is summer. I cannot believe how quickly time flew by!

Here is an update about what happened in the last month or so:

After my conversation with the clinic in Denmark, I was convinced, I had found the right place and I relaxed a little. There was not much I could do but wait. I contacted the US sperm bank and two EU sperm banks to find out how to transport the sperm to Europe. The US sperm bank had a (when not cheap, but at least) decent price for the transport, one of the EU banks made me an offer that was 4 times as much and the last bank took more than 4 weeks to respond at all. Customs never responded.

When I contacted the clinic again and asked them to sign the forms for the US bank so that I could transport the sperm to their clinic, they refused. After a few emails back and forth, they said they could not sign it, because there is a law that says they could only use sperm from a EU clinic. Interesting! When I had my skype consultation (which I recorded) the doctor said "yes, yes, yes" they would sign all the forms from the US bank, no problem. Only if I had a problem with that US bank did I need to contact an EU bank.

I was shocked and disappointed. The fact that they had said, I could use my US donor was one of the deciding factors why I had wanted to do IVF with them and now it all fell through. My mom and my best friend were very critical about importing sperm anyway, because of all the risks involved with the transport. I did not know what to do but I knew I could not afford the high price the EU bank wanted. I was so busy with work and only caught about 4 hours of sleep a night, because I had signed up for some extra workshops. While I was dealing with all of this, my US donor sold out. I felt numb from all the stress and could not really deal with it for a week or two before I got back on track.

When I got back to thinking straight, I thought about what had just happened. Did the doctor consciously lie to me on skype when she said she would sign everything but then didn`t? Or did she really not know? But isn`t it her job to know these things?

Right after my consultation, one of the clinic workers sent me a contract to sign. The contract did not have an amount listed of the costs, which I found strange, but I did not sign it anyway. The doctor had said she needed and ultrasound from the month before I would start the IVF to see if everything was OK. So, I decided not to sign any contracts before I had not done the ultrasound and knew that I could go on with IVF this summer. I did not want to be bound by a contract and then never be able to  do the IVF treatment (apart from the fact that I needed to transfer money to Europe first). When I told the clinic worker that, she said it was no problem and I could wait before signing. Then, a week ago, when I checked their website again, I saw they had raised the prices - just a week after that email exchange with the office worker. I could not believe it! She had never mentioned that during our email exchange.

I was really mad. I mean, first the false promise about the US donor and then this sneaky price increase! I was starting to doubt if I should use that clinic. But at that point it was already mid May and I was running out of time. I wrote to a few more clinics, but except for one, all that answered me had scheduled a 2-week summer break right when I was planning on doing IVF. Bummer! The one that did not wanted me to schedule a free skype consultation but the clinic worker that I called was quite rude and she ended up giving me an appointment so late in June that I am not sure how that would leave me enough time to get started soon enough. I wrote the original Danish clinic and asked why they had not told me about the price increase and if their original offer for me was still good. They said "yes"- at least something.

Due to time constraints, I might now be stuck with that Danish clinic I had originally picked. When I listened to the skype conversation, the doctor really sounded nice and (so far) they have patiently answered all of my many, many questions. There are some miscommunications, though...

Another problem that I am trying to handle right now is my cycle. Whenever, I am super stressed out and/ or on a diet like now, I do not get my period or I would get it late. This makes planning for IVF quite difficult. So, I wrote the Danish doctor and asked her what I should do. She said, she could help me plan the IVF procedure and I should just take the pill on the first day of my period. Excuse me? Apart from the fact that I do not have the pill and have never taken it, the problem is that I do not get my period and therefore also cannot take it on the first day of it. So, I exchanged some more emails with her until she got it. Now she wants me to get an ultrasound done.

So, I called around to find a place where I could get an ultrasound done without being a patient and without having to go through a consultation first. One place quoted me that consultation at up to $360 and I do not even know for what, since I do not want their consult, I just want them to do what my Danish doctor requested. Oh the troubles! I finally found a place that was willing to do it. They called me back on Friday, saying that they are willing to do it, but did not leave me a quote on my answering machine. When I called back after work, they were already closed. In addition, I would need official doctor`s orders from my Danish doctor for this and I am sure they will not understand...

So, right now, I am just trying to take it one day at a time and one step at a time. Ultrasound next. First quote, then orders. Then keeping my fingers crossed that everything is okay. If everything is okay, I might start stimming as soon as 2 weeks from now. After all of this, how nice would it be if something worked out smoothly for once!