IUI #3

Yesterday morning, I am in my car, driving past beautiful yellow fields to my first IUI. The sky is bright blue, the air is crisp and the leaves are starting to change. It is the perfect fall day.

The receptionist is surprisingly nice to me this time. I sign the consent forms and start waiting for the sperm to thaw. The nurse that leads me to the examination room smiles at me and tells me that I have a great sample this time. I look at the tiny vial he hands me and marvel at the possibilities in that tiny amount of liquid I hold in my hands. I snap a quick picture and then place the vial in my bra, under my heart and send out a quick prayer that this will be the one. The sample is just right, the donor is right, the timing is right... this could be the one.

The nurse is friendly and handles the sample with much more care than the nurse who did the last IUI. She explains to me what she is about to do but this time, it really hurts. The last two attempts were over before I even really noticed what was going on. This time, it hurts so much I feel everything. She cannot get into my cervix, she tries different speculas and positions. I keep on sending prayers to heaven that it will work and that everything will be okay. I am about to start crying from the pain when she finally says "Now, I am in". I breath a deep sigh of relief.

I keep on resting on the examination table for another 15 min. before I pay and leave. I parked my car at the end of the parking lot where it is quiet and peaceful. I open all the windows to rest a little longer on the back seat. As I am lying there, I watch the few white clouds in the blue sky above me. I send up another prayer when suddenly, I see it. First barely noticeable, but then clearly there.

A tiny rainbow reflected in the clouds.

... and suddenly, I know: Everything is going to be alright.